On the first anniversary of the September eleventh terrorist attacks, my grandmother was visiting us. The boys were in school, and we were trying to decide what to do that day. Though not spoken between us, I think the levity of the day weighed heavily on our suggestions. Ultimately, we decided to pack a picnic lunch, and spend some one-on-one time next to my favorite lake.
This spot by the lake is my sanctuary. It is so serene, as to block out the weight of the world. While there, it feels as if nothing exists but the rustling of the leaves, the chirping of the birds and the splashing of the fish. This is where I go one morning a year to spend time by myself, reflecting back, before saying tashlich and feeding my sins to those splashing fish in the water.
Obviously this spot was perfect for a day like September 11, 2002, and the conversation naturally flowed toward our thoughts on the events a year earlier and our feelings about it.
My grandmother tied 9-11 to Pearl Harbor in her conversation. A comparison I had heard before, but one that hadn't really meant anything to me up to that point. I grew up knowing that there was some day in early December when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, and drew us into a war. There was an occasional grainy image of that far away place in a far past time, but the gravity of how it affected the average American back then never really sunk in, and I never thought about how it would have weighed on a child at that time. Until that day when I sat by the lake listening to my grandmother talk of her childhood.
Today I will return to the lake with my sons, now seven and eight years old, as the weight of the world is now on their shoulders. I can no longer sheild them from those images that are so prevelant in our society. They've been asking me a lot of really heavy questions about the attacks lately, and now I will sit and tell them my story, of a day they don't remember. I will address their concerns, listen to their feelings and fears. Then I will return to that spot in a few weeks and pray that the year ahead will bring lighter thoughts and better stories to share by the lake.
